Interview #9: Steph Sheahan (me!)

Since I recently launched my new website, and since this time of Samhain is for inward reflection, I feel like reflecting on these questions myself and seeing what emerges..

Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and how you got into what you do now?

Hello, my name is Steph. I am 37 years old/young/living on this earth. I grew up in the suburbs of Cork city in Bishopstown and I now live in a cottage in the Limerick countryside with my partner Liam and 3 year old son Remy.

I was always interested in making and creating as a child. I have fond memories of my mother setting myself and my siblings up to paint and draw. I can remember a subtle patient and encouraging atmosphere in the air when we would be creating and playing. She allowed us to make a mess and I am really grateful for that.

As well as painting and drawing, I would set myself up at a table in the sitting room to “make and do”. I would get scissors and paper and twine and sometimes marla. I don’t remember a whole lot about what I would actually make but I loved this process of make and do - being set up and working with my hands. Each Christmas would be an opportunity to learn a new skill where I would ask for a badge making kit or a bracelet making kit..

I have this memory of touching my toes over by this big oak dresser that used to be in the sitting room in Halldene (my first childhood home) and feeling or thinking “oh, what is this?”..like an intuitive knowing that this is a way to become more alive - so perhaps my first experience of yoga.

I would say that I was always a deep and sensitive child, full of wonder and questions about the world. I loved being in the car at night and looking up at the stars out the window. And I can also remember walking with my mother and her brother (my godfather) Tommy in Bishopstown one night and looking up at the night sky and asking them, “what if there was just nothing?” ..so I was a contemplative, curious and creative child. And I like to think that I have carried these innate qualities with me into adulthood.

What awakens life in you and where do you draw inspiration from?

Hedgerows, the darkness, fire, camping, picnics, sea swimming, foraging, books, good hearty deep conversations with friends, cooking, gardening, growing flowers and vegetables, being a mother to Remy, solitude, being in groups/circles and sharing openly, creating a home, exploring new places, colour, design, cafes…  

What does creating/growing/teaching teach you about yourself? and the world?

Creating and gardening/growing reminds me of the deep mystery it is to be in this life, the wonder and expanse of it all - and that there is a certain energy connecting all things. Teaching reminds me to step out of an individualistic way of being - and teaches me how we are all connected, and “all just walking each other home” as Ram Das said.

How has motherhood impacted your creative life?

Motherhood has hugely influenced my whole life. In one way, I have way less time to spend creating than I did before becoming a mother, and then in another way, I use my time way more wisely. I appreciate the time that I do have to create much more. Remy also inspires my work..my poems, my visual artwork and how I have come to have a much deeper understanding and appreciation of both the beauty and pain of this world. It’s like you can’t have one without the other. Even the very pain of labour brought beautiful Remy into the world - so motherhood teaches me, and reminds me, that to give birth to beauty or a creative idea means moving through resistance and pain as well.   

Do you have any daily rituals or routines to get your creativity flowing?

Yes I do but I don’t always do them. And sometimes it takes me to get way out of balance or taken over by thoughts to remind me of why these rituals or routines are so important. Some things that work for me:

Morning pages/daily writing (thanks to the book I love and cherish, The Artist’s Way). Writing is probably one of my biggest resources. Just to get down on a page all that is circling in my head, grounds me and helps me to know how I am feeling and what I am needing.

Yoga and dancing bring me into my body. Yoga gives me a lovely structure or container to stretch and drop into my body and dancing lets me shake it all out and move authentically; I like, need and value both.

Walking and being out in nature. Paying attention to what I see, like, “oh the clover is out now” or “ah lovely, hello elderflower..”    

Cooking and being the kitchen. Making Remy his porridge in the morning and making a strong cup of tea in my favourite mug made by ceramicist Caroline Dolan. Chopping up loads of vegetables and making a big pot of soup.

Eating mindfully. I keep forgetting about this practice but when I do it i can feel my gut unwind and my whole body relax. So many good insights come as well. So note to self, Steph: return regularly to this practice, it really is worth doing.

How do you take care of yourself when you are feeling a bit blah, blocked or uninspired?

Just walking around the boundary of the garden (however reluctant I am to do it) and saying hello to the trees (Liam planted about 100 trees during lockdown) and different plants I see in the hedgerows really brings me back. 

When I am premenstrual, I often turn to baking (and butter)! Brownies, oat cookies or apple crumble…so comforting, hands on, sensory. And baking makes me think of my granny which anchors me too.. 

Sometimes a nap is just what I need. I pull down the blinds and climb into bed - turn on the electric blanket to the hottest setting to warm my back, bring a hot water bottle for my belly. Go under the covers, come to stillness and darkness. And I often find that this rest and self care moves something…like an insight will come or something shifts. I love that quote from Einstein I think, that says, ‘you can’t solve a problem from the level of the problem’. It is so true. So I try to drop into a different, deeper space for something to emerge.

Sometimes it is doing nothing and other times the very act of creating, can lift me out of a heavy place and lighten and brighten things. If I am avoiding a difficult feeling, I find it hard to create as they both seem to come from the same place, so if I can stay a while with the ‘blah’ feeling, something new often opens up. Creating can also be my way of staying with things - painting with, writing with… One of Julia Cameron’s affirmations from the Artist’s Way has become my mantra: “As I create and listen I will be led”. And actually, also another one: “it is far harder and more painful to be a blocked artist than it is to do the work”.  

What do you enjoy most about food? Do you have any favourite ingredients or recipes?

What I enjoy most about food is the sensory and tangible aspect of it. It brings me back to earth and into my body,. Growing food myself is such a satisfying experience and it is such a gift to receive food grown by someone I know or that has been grown locally. I also love cooking with or eating foraged ingredients - it really awakens something in me (I suppose my wild and true nature). I eat often to ground and ayurvedic principles have helped and inspired me. Ingredients wise, I love parsley, fresh raspberries and blackberries, freshly picked raw peas, seaweed, tahini, chocolate, warming spices like cardamom, ginger and cumin…

Can you share with us any books, podcasts or music that are currently inspiring you?

Books: I am in the middle of reading The Other Side: A Journey into Women, Art and the Spirit World by Jennifer Higgie. An interesting and affirming read to see women throughout history using art as a spiritual practice.

Listening: I am really enjoying listening to the audio recording of Beauty: The Invisible Embrace by John O Donohue (it’s on Audible). It’s so lovely to hear his voice narrate it. I also enjoy listening to BBC’s Desert Island Discs each week and Katy Hessel’s The Great Women Artists podcast. 

Music: Myself and Liam went to see Nick Mulvey in Dublin in August and he was so good. A very inspiring person and musician. 

Do you have any future creative project plans/dreams?

Yes lots. And lots. Sometimes I want to do so much all at once that I can end up doing nothing - and my mind gets jammed like the metal keys on a typewriter when you press a load of them in one go. So I need to take it step by step. Get clear and methodical about it. But also alongside that, to be trusting in the process. And remember that things emerge and come to fruition when they are ready. 

Here it goes:

To own and do up my own home - a cosy and creative sanctuary. 

To develop a really good composting system in my garden so that I can have loads of beautiful rich soil to grow more flowers, herbs and vegetables. 

To keep bees and hens some day. 

And to have a little shop/cafe some day too.

To be more and more connected to a more ancient way of being in the world..in tribe, around a camp fire, circle and creativity.

To learn more about stone masonry and construction.

To learn how to sew with a sewing machine (I have so many ideas for clothes!).

To get my voice out there more, publish a book or some poems, perform in some way..or create a podcast perhaps (there is definitely a block around this..or some kind of inferior form of thinking - but yeah something along those lines). 

To design and make my own ceramic tiles (I dream of having my own tiles in my future kitchen).

To make handmade soap.

To make another mural.

To travel, explore and camp more with Remy and Liam.   

To have the courage to be more and more myself, to speak and express my truth, follow what feels right (even if others don’t approve or understand) and to love myself and others with my whole heart!

November 2023