Social Distancing

Last month I bought a very basic Nokia phone. My iPhone was not working me. It wasn’t broken, but the way in which I was using it was; not as a tool that I pick up when I needed to use it, then put back down to get on with my life - in the tangible, here and now. No, I found that I was not in control of my use of it. For example, I love listening to podcasts when I’m making jewellery but instead of just listening to the podcast, I’d also find myself updating my emails and checking my WhatsApp. And I didn’t want to be doing this! The habit was almost compulsive. I also find (and still find) that when I post on social media, mainly Instagram, I have the impulse to check back on the app after posting. My intention is to share the work and then leave the app and not go back on until the next time I’m posting. This worked well for me when my intention was strong a few months ago over lent but I have found the re-checking habit creeping back again. I feel almost ashamed to admit that I don’t have control over it - but it is designed to be addictive and to get you easy dopamine hits. And this is especially appealing when I am tired.

So having a small black basic Nokia day to day has helped hugely. I only turn on my iPhone seldomly now - for online banking and to post on Instagram. But it’s still not totally working for me. Like I want to take a step back further. At an ecommerce mentoring session the other day with the Design and Crafts Council, my mentor recommended scheduling automatic posting. This, I need to look into. But even more overarching is my questioning of whether I really need to be on it at all. I want to share my work but I do not want to have to hustle for my worth or attention in a flippant, heady online space. I don’t want to lose connection with myself or valuable time for my actual work and real life.

If I knew I could make a living, feel connected and be able to share my work without it, I’d imagine it would be deleted and off away in the distance for good. For now though, I’m trying social distancing. Space between me and social media through a turned off ‘smart’phone.

Painting by me called Summer Stream.